Page 58 of 366 I can’t believe…

I’m still writing these daily blog posts.  I’m getting kind of sick of it. I said at the beginning of this I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to do these daily but I have been just a little bit.  I don’t always have things to talk about on here and I know its glaringly obvious at times.  I want to take a break but once I do that I’ll get in the habit of not doing them every night.  My goal at the begining to was to them before midnight but its 3:12am right now.  Oh well, whatever, I make the rules lol

Its a stormy night in my city. The wind is blowing hard and the windows are rattling. I hate wearing glasses.  I wish I never got them.  Now my eyes feel funny when I don’t wear them.  Woe is me.

Love and equality.  Stay thirsty my friends.

Page 57 of 366 Good Deeds

My Mom, Little Sis and I went to see Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds.  Its a story worth seeing.  Its a story that is a bit unrealistic but to a hopeless romantic like me, happy endings always make you warm and fuzzy.  4 of 6 hair flips for Good Deeds.  Tyler Perry has a knack for telling interesting tough stories but also bringing the comic relief.  There was no Madea to provide the comedy in this one and it was okay.  At times its hard to look at Perry and not go damn he’s making a Madea expression lol Its just a fact the man is Madea and Tyler Perry’s smile and Madea’s smile.  Anyway, Tyler Perry has a lot of hater’s coming out of the black community from people who feel like his movies aren’t socially responsible.  I’m not a Perry hater and the ones making the biggest fuss are the ones that need to look at their own body of work.  Madea is a character that’s it.  Perry is a self made, hardworking man that gives back to the community.  You can’t fault him for that.  From what I can see he takes care of the black actors who are down with him. The actors who are tired of playing maids, nannies, gang bangers, drug dealers, criminals, thugs and rapping and dancing side show acts.  It seems like most of the actors featured in his films are in multiple ones he’s made.  Keep on keeping on Tyler Perry.  There is NO other black director out there that people flock to the theaters for opening weekend. Or does his success mean that he’s sold out? Maybe it does for some but it doesn’t mean that to me.  And my opinion is all I really care about at the end of the day.  When is the last time you said.. Oh another Spike Lee Joint is coming out! I’ve got to go see that!  Not ever…  I just think people should pick on people who really need to be picked on.

Page 56 of 366 Bad Attitude

It seems like today everyone and everything was an annoyance to me. Ever had a day where you felt like you wanted to lock yourself away? I had a day like that today. I had numerous Ally McBeal moments. You know the moment when you see yourself reacting violently to something but in reality you just kinda sit there and look stupid? I had too many of those moments to count.  I baked.. I read.. I watched a little tv all in vain.  From baking 2 batches of cinnamon rolls, and a pan of lemon bars all I got was powdered sugar all over me and a sweaty brow, but the stinking ass attitude remained.  In these moments I know I’m not pleasant to be around and I try to avoid folks. I don’t want to subject other people to my attitude anymore than I want to be subjected to other people.  Maybe tomorrow will be different. Love and Equality.

Page 55 Lazy Saturday

I had a lazy day today.  I slept a lot.  I drove little sis to get her hair done and then went back to get her.  I went to the store for cinnamon sugar and butter so I could try an idea I had for mini cinnamon rolls.  It turned out pretty well, even the icing I made on the fly turned out well.  Tomorrow I’m going to try again but I have another idea to make them better.

I used rolled out canned buttermilk biscuit dough(Pilsbury Grands), Oven on 350, rolled each individual biscuit flat (use a glass if you don’t have a rolling pin because I sure as hell didn’t have one), next I sprinkled on cinnamon sugar and rolled it up (Oh and leave the edge free of cinnamon sugar or it won’t stay rolled), cut into 4-1 inch size pieces and put a lil butter on top of each little mini.  Place them on the middle rack in the oven in an ungreased pan. Check on them in about 15 mins if the top edges are just starting to turn golden brown yank them out.

For the icing I just used powdered sugar, milk, softened butter, vanilla extract and mixed till smooth in a bowl.  I didn’t use any measuring tools so I can’t really say how much I used. If I had to guess I’d say a cup and a half of powdered sugar, 2 tablespoons of milk, a table spoon of butter and a teaspoon of vanilla.  The icing is VERY sweet by itself but it balances out nicely with the rolls. Let the rolls cool a bit before adding the icing or it’ll just run down the sides. If the icing is too thin, add more powdered sugar unless you know of a different way to thicken it. I’m thinking heating the milk first on low, add the sugar, butter and vanilla, and stir till it gets thick. Heck I’m just guessing here lol maybe I’ll try it that way tomorrow and update this post with the results.  I’ve got some left from the icing I made today though.

Tomorrow I’m going to try putting the butter inside with the cinnamon sugar to make a gooey cinnamon mess in the middle.  I know they sell canned cinnamon rolls in the store but if you’ve ever tried to bake those they are basically just a biscuit with little pieces of cinnamon on top.  My way I can control the amount of cinnamon (the canned ones don’t have enough and its not actually inside the roll), and make them more like a traditional cinnamon roll.  If anyone in my house liked nuts I could add those as well but I’m the only one that likes them.  I also think I’m going to make regular sized rolls tomorrow.

Baking is therapeutic for me.  Maybe using canned biscuit dough isn’t true baking to some standards but I don’t really see a point in spending 3 hours making dough from scratch when the work has already been done for you.  Just add your own personal touch to things.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  All that really matters is a happy tummy afterwards and the willingness to keep at it, if it didn’t turn out quite like you hoped.

Page 54 A Musical Post

I’m having a sucky couple of days. Please enjoy father and son, Eddie and Gerald Levert/ Baby Hold On To Me.  Gerald was another that died too song. R.I.P you were one of the great voices of R&B.

They didn’t have an embed code so you’ll have to go visit youtube. Here is the link Baby Hold On To Me.

Page 53 I won’t complain

One of my favorite gospel songs.  So appropriate for today.  All of my good days out weigh my bad days and I won’t complain.  There is a local preacher named Gerald Balew that used to preach at the church I attended.  When he sung this song… It made me feel lighter.  We didn’t get good news with Mom’s cancer fight today but the battle wages on.

Anyway take a listen

Page 52 When Her Words Reach My Ears And Travel To My Soul

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’.   I’ve been hurt by words before.  I’ve been hurt by words more times than I care to admit. Words have power. Words can empower, oppress, heal, hurt, free, and enslave among so many other things.  One of my favorite people is Dr. Maya Angelou.  She moves me with words.  I feel hugged while reading or listening to her speak.  I wanted to dedicate this post to show anyone that may stumble upon it that Dr. Angelou is the best to ever do it.  I’ll give a taste of 3 of her works given in her voice.  I certainly couldn’t follow words so wise so I’ll end here and remind: Love and Equality ya’ll.  Now here’s Dr. Angelou she is the best and only one to do what she does.

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise

In and out of Time by Maya Angelou (I couldn’t find one to embed but I’ll post a link to youtube)

http://youtu.be/gOPqth0C3ss

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance…
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids…
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there….
Mmmm…God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens….loudly screamed….
Trying to change our nightmares into dreams…
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

The Mask by Maya Angelou (Sorry I couldn’t find the words to this one. Its a recording of her reciting it)

Page 51 An Important Topic

Tonight’s episode of Glee dealt with a really sensitive subject.  The alarming increase in gay teens committing suicide.  I don’t understand why humans are so horrible to each other.  Let people be who they are and be with who they want to be with.  Life is too short to be concerned about what others are doing.  Homosexuality isn’t a disease.  There is nothing wrong with people who are attracted to their same sex.  I don’t see why all these groups are going on these crusades to protest homosexuality and gay rights.

All the ignorance leads to the bullying.  Its hard on people and they don’t know of any other way to stop it. We need to put into practice loving and respecting one another.  Stop feeling so threatened by people who don’t live exactly as we do.  I know people are up in arms about preserving the sanctity of marriage.  To me marriage is about two people who love each other, pledging to spend their lives together and sticking through it all for better or for worse.  Who says two men or two woman can’t achieve that?  Non homosexuals can’t even say they are successful at this.  Everyone runs for the hills when things get tough.  The divorce rate is sky rocketing.  So to say the sanctity of marriage will be affected… to alot of people marriage isn’t taken very serious.. THAT is affecting the sanctity of marriage.

Anyway, love and equality it’s SO easy.  Treat people like you want to be treated.  If there is a lane you don’t agree with, stay in your lane and keep it moving.  But we’ve got to stop allowing these kids to leave this earth from this foolishness.

page 50 If you feel like I feel…

Does anyone out there feel like its still today if you haven’t gone to sleep and woken up yet?  It could be 5am and I’m laying there thinking about what I’m going to do tomorrow, but it’s actually later today for normal people.  Maybe the world is revolving around me, I feel like it should.

I once heard that everybody has the exact love life they want.  I think it’s true.  If a person is in a happy relationship its because they worked to make it that way.  If you’re in an unhappy relationship, you’re holding on to something that’s not working for the sake of what? Having someone who makes you miserable is better than having no one? If you’re single but want a relationship.. what are you doing to make that happen for yourself?  Just haven’t found the right one you say?  Where are you looking?  Where aren’t you looking?  We’ve all got standards.. do you meet your own qualifications?

Glasses get dirty to darn quick and I’m finding I do not like smudges on my glasses.  This is going to drive me insane.  Are my eyes spitting on the lenses?!?!

I need a mute button for life.

Why isn’t being an adult as cake as we thought it would be when we were kids?

I need a delorean to go back in time and smack twenty one year old me, twenty-three year old me, twenty-five year old me and hell probably thirty year old me too.

Facebook is so messy. I try to stay off of it as much as possible.  I want to shut down my page but its sort of cool to be able to talk to folks you haven’t spoken with since elementary.  I wonder if the potential to reconnect with old friends is worth the drama of a few who take it way too seriously.  I always joke that a relationship isn’t official until a person changes their status on facebook to ‘in a relationship’.

I don’t really give second chances, but I don’t ask for them either.

I need to be stronger.

I’ll be 33 in exactly 2 weeks. I’m back in the place I was at 19.  I’ve got to do better.

I hate when you did something when you were a kid and then you become known for it your entire life.  But only if you let others define who you are.

Love and equality my friends, its So easy.  Let love in and give it to others.

 

Page 49 Musical Spotlight: The ‘Why aren’t they more popular?’ series

We live in a society that celebrates a pretty face more than true talent.  Not to say that the people I’ll spotlight aren’t attractive, but they should have bigger careers. The first person is American Idol hopeful Elliott Yamin:  He was my favorite on his season.  He was on the season 5 with Taylor Hicks, Katherine McPhee and Chris Daughtry.  Elliot was my favorite during this season but Taylor Hicks went on to win the title.  He has an effortless talent in his voice.  See for yourself:

Elliot singing A song for you done by Donny Hathaway.  Elliot sang the shit out of this song… I don’t see how he could lose to anyone let alone Taylor Hicks…

And here is another live version of Donny Hathaway’s I love you more than you’ll ever know

The true test for a singer is to hear them live…. This man has more talent in his pinky finger than a lot of these mainstream idiots making the same dumb manufactured sounding songs.

Love and Equality